A little context:  I was induced early, which resulted in a long labor and an even longer week of hell waiting for my milk to come in. I stupidly thought breastfeeding was a natural thing, and when the stork brought baby it also brought milk. Well, the stork brought my baby early, and brought my milk late…messing up those timeframes really pissed off B.B. We endured days where B.B screamed about every hour, from what I finally realized was starvation. While screaming at me…this is how I imagined our conversation would go, with him as my boss:

M.E: Hey B.B, I want to catch up with you if you have a minute. I know you are frustrated because you wanted the milk a few days ago, but I need to tell you I am doing everything I can to get it here…I’m eating oatmeal, I’m drinking that awful fenugreek tea from Whole Foods. I’m really doing everything I can,  but I need to be transparent with you and let you know that it’s likely going to be a few more days.

B.B: I don’t care how hard you are trying. I’ve wanted milk for over 5 days now, and I have none. We’re now on day 6. Make something happen.

M.E: Right…well, from everything I’ve read it should be here soon. I can’t give you an exact timeframe, but I’m confident if I keep doing what I am doing, drink a Guiness tonight, and continue to pump EVERY HOUR like I’ve been doing for the past 5 days, we will get the milk here and both be happy. Trust me. I need you to bear with me.

B.B: You’re not listening to me. I don’t care that you’re putting in the effort, what I care about is getting the milk. It’s already been delayed significantly, and I’m extremely upset with you. At this point, I don’t know if I can trust that you are able to execute on this job. I need to start looking into alternatives

M.E: I can’t tell you how much it kills me to hear you say that. I’ve put a lot of work into this, and I don’t want to give up. I will tell you that I have looked into some other options for you. Formula is something we could try but I really didn’t want to go there…

B.B: Wait WHAT? You have an alternative and you haven’t given it to me? What the hell is wrong with you? Put that in a bottle and give it to me now! Why are we on day 6 and you’re just telling me this?

M.E: I didn’t think formula was the best thing for you

B.B: Let’s get something clear. I’m in charge here. I don’t care what YOU think or how this impacts YOU personally. You are serving me, I am the boss, and I’m fucking STARVING. Give me that formula NOW.

M.E: I’m on it.